Blue America

This was emailed to me and I thought it was worth posting.

Blue America Charter

Fellow citizens!
It gives me great happiness to unveil our plans for the liberation ofBlue America. For the past three years, we have, in conjunction with a handful of MIT engineers, been constructing a giant, cordless circular saw,which is now complete. With this saw, we plan to carve our thriving,prosperous eastern Blue nation away from the spreading infection of red america. We will then set a mighty sail, which will carry us around the tip ofSouth America and allow us to join our Blue compadres on the West Coast. We will use our giant saw to free our friends, then join our two lands together and sail to a designated point in the Pacific Ocean. There, we will establish our new country: Blue America.

Basic Tenets
Blue America will be founded on the same ideals as the former UnitedStates of America. These ideals, sadly, have been decimated by the same redplague that scrambled the brains of so many of our unfortunate former fellow-citizens. These ideals include:
- The Separation of Church and State
- Freedom of Speech
- Freedom of Assembly and Protest
- Equal rights for all and due process under the Constitution
Blue America will have many additional aspirations not shared by red america, including:
- The goal of giving every citizen high quality education and healthcare (even prescription drugs!), regardless of their race, ethnic background or income
- The right to a satisfying career with fair pay, job security and an eight-hour workday
- Respect for other cultures and honesty in our dealings with other countries
- The right to worship the deity of your choice (or not)
- Family values, meaning the right of anyone to form a family if they wish
- Compassion for the poor and sick
- Belief in the value of: fresh food, recycling, renewable energy,
independent bookstores and movie theatres, literacy, the free exchange of ideas, clean air, clean water, sushi, Julia Child cookbooks, Scrabble, humor, honesty,exercise, art, poetry, community gardens, mass transit, local cheese, the scientific process, the theory of Evolution, national parks, bicycles, music, sidewalks, trees, books, family farms, locally-owned diners with revolving pie cabinets, and decent coffee.

Membership

Membership in Blue America will be limited to residents of states that voted "blue" in the 2004 election, with the following exceptions:
1. Red "carriers" (or "vectors") who are currently living in BlueAmerica are kindly asked to leave before the liberation.
2. Members of certain Blue outposts in red america (like Austin,Texas) will be allowed to apply for Blue America citizenship.
3. Members of Blue outposts in Ohio (Oberlin) will also be allowed to apply for citizenship. However, if accepted they must accept a one-year probationary period. Similarly, members of Blue outposts in Florida(South Beach) will also be allowed to apply, but must accept a two-year probationary period.
4. Members of the Bush family are excluded for life, as are members of the Bush cabinet and all Fox News anchors, and Kid Rock. (Sorry, ColinPowell, but you had your chance.)

Sports
The first official sports team of Blue America will be the Boston RedSox (hereby re-named the Boston Blue Sox). However, red propagandist Curt> Schilling will be cut from the Sox and banished to the worst team in baseball. Also, we'll take Derek Jeter, if he's interested. {llama note: some of us are not interested in Jeter aka "smug bastard" and would vote to amend this section of the charter}

Timetable
Engineers have already begun separating northern Maine from the continent. We plan to be fully liberated and set sail on Blue Inauguration day, January 21, 2005. Pack your guitars, books and Hawaiian shirts, and let'shear it for the blue, white and blue!

Bring on the saw!